Carol is an attorney. She did well in Law School and landed a job with a law firm practicing environmental law. It seemed to those who knew Carol that her career path was intact. She had set a course, followed it and successfully landed where she was supposed to land. So, why wasn’t Carol feeling a sense of accomplishment? Why wasn’t she eager to leave for work in the morning? What was keeping her awake at night?
Whenever Carol thought about her dilemma, a voice in her head would say “What’s the matter with you? You should be grateful. You’ve got a job that pays well, in the field you have chosen—what more do you want?” The voice seemed to “make sense.”
Carol’s self-talk went something like this: “I have successfully completed law school—no small thing—and now I’m a lawyer! I have the status that comes from that profession. My family is proud. And, in many ways, I am proud also. So, I just need to get on with it!”
And Carol does just that. She leaves for another day at the office, immerses herself in the busy and demanding schedule, and makes the best of things. When her discontent returns, she questions herself: “What’s wrong with me? I set a goal and achieved it. I made the decision to practice law and I am doing that. I just need to suck it up and do my job and be grateful for what I have!”
But, a nagging voice within persists. Some would say it comes from Carol’s heart. Others say her soul or her spirit. But whatever the source, I contend that it is wisdom based. As unsettling as it is, some part of Carol is longing to be acknowledged. But when it seeks recognition, Carol resists. And the intermittent waves of discontent continue.
Carol’s experience is not uncommon. It can happen in any career field, but, when a lawyer experiences this unsettling career dissonance, the inner conflict is extreme. Let’s look at what is at stake.
First, in any career field, when you have completed the necessary education, acquired the “sought-after” credentials and finally landed a position, there is great relief. .. a sense of “Whew! I made it!” And, now it’s a matter of learning how to do the work, fit in, and be successful. That’s the plan! And for a while, that’s your focus. You work hard to learn about the work environment, get to know people and to feel like you belong. Ah! Now maybe you can “coast” a little. It’s the time to start paying those student loans, getting together with friends, maybe finding better accommodations. Time to live!
But, if at some point a feeling of discontent surfaces, several things may happen. First. you may see it as an unwelcome intrusion and attempt to push it out of your head. You work harder. When it continues to intrude, and you consciously acknowledge that it is there, you may even feel ashamed. You question your value. You think there must be something wrong with YOU. Not the situation, but YOU. Although this is an irrational conclusion, it feels like the truth.
When the dissonance between what you think you should be experiencing and what you are actually living becomes too great, you may begin to think about exploring career options. That’s when fear arises
Let’s examine the assumptions that give rise to fear:
- There are few good alternatives for someone with my credentials and experience. Absolutely not true. A law degree qualifies you for many opportunities within the field of law and in other fields that require the high-level skills and abilities developed in law school and legal practice.
- If I change course, I cannot make the salary that I need/want. Not necessarily true. Many lawyers have made transitions that provided equal or greater compensation but this depends on a few variables. Research, then decide.
- I need to go into a different field to be happy, since I am not happy in law. There are many more options within the legal field than most realize.
- I have to relinquish all that I have invested and accomplished if I explore other options. Your accomplishments and expertise are transferable.
- If I begin to look at other options, I am making a commitment to leave my current job/field. The decision to research is not a decision to leave.
At some point in the ongoing inner conflict, people do one of two things:
- They "settle." The result: a career by default - otherwise referred to as a job. The decision is often based upon a belief that there are no options. This does not necessarily lead to unhappiness. Many people find other ways to create satisfactory experiences outside of their work. But for some, it leads to depression, minimal performance and reduced self-confidence.
- Those who choose not to settle begin a discovery process. As they continue to perform responsibly in their current jobs. They identify the source of their discontent. How do they do that? They begin with themselves, by Identifying their work preferences and life values, personality characteristics. How do these match the job? Where are the disconnects?
Law school is great preparation for the career discovery process because it is an education in research skills and, yet, lawyers do not find this an easy course of action. The professional status associated with being a lawyer is not easy to relinquish. And although career exploration does not automatically result in a change of profession, there may be a reluctance to even examine other options.
When the work fits the person, success follows. When the person tries to fit into the work, it’s like wearing a shoe that is too tight. You can walk in it, but you can’t enjoy the walk. When the job fits, it’s a beautiful trip. And there is nothing worth more than a job that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning and put on those shoes. Ultimately, it’s a matter of choice: a job by default or a career by selection.
If you are tempted to comment, please do. Your comments and questions will add value.
In support of your success,
Rita
Rita M. Carey, Ed.D.,CPCC
Professional Career Development Coaching
Email: [email protected]
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